I was a selective dater even before I had children. That does not mean that I didn’t make some unwise choices in men, because I did. The difference between then and now that I have children is that I’ve narrowed the margin for error in selection…

My ideal man would be someone who, first and foremost, accepts/properly treats me and my two children. Requiring proper treatment of ourselves and our children should be a standard for all single moms. Men who truly care for us would accept our children because they are a part of us.

They would not abuse or exploit us in any way, physically or emotionally. They would not take from us or seek to prevent us from succeeding in life. They’d inspire and encourage us.

The ideal man for a single mother and any woman, furthermore, is unmarried and not Captain Save ‘Em, or someone to rescue us from our problems. Our true Mr. Rights would mutually contribute and provide for us to a reasonable extent. They’d too provide for any and all of their own children.

…Some men gravitate to single moms who are nurturers and cook. Some men are not into ready-made families, and that is fine. We’re all entitled to our preferences…

…In any event, each and every one of us should be certain that we’re selecting mates for right reasons. We should set proper examples for our children, who are always watching and often mimicking us…

We should work to provide for ourselves and our children, and the men with whom our children share DNA should fairly contribute to their care. Our top priority should be the care/safety and success of our children, and the men we’d select for mates should definitively be on board…

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